21
This was at the end of the night. I think Dan was helping me balance.
The bouncer was like, "Heeyyyy Birthday!!!!" I was like, "Please stop dancing."
The look on everyone's face as they realized that I didn't know how to take shots.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Mah Birfday
Saturday, July 16, 2011
It's summa time
Colt said I never update my blog, so here's some things I've done over the summer.
Be a mermaid.
Get in fights.
Be a badass.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Goodness
At the Eagle Tail Mountain Wolf Sanctuary. I pulled out my phone to take a picture of this guy here, but before I could take a picture, he ran up and decided to be my best friend. Fortunately somebody else had a camera. Such a sweet big scary wolf.And some unrelated good news! I made it into the interview process for both the Senior CA position and the Teach for America Operations Coordinator position. And this evening, I'm going to an orientation meeting for Free Arts of Arizona so that I can learn about applying with them. Not only that, but I wrote an essay and turned it in a day before it was due. Productivity at its finest!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
When Boredom Attacks
During training a group of us sit together and write sentence-by-sentence stories to spice things up a bit. These brilliant tales which I am sharing come from some especially boring and useless sessions. Enjoy... or don't enjoy (they are long and kind of weird).
Seven: The number Yvonnavich could not conquer. This was due to his irrational fears. Which can be attributed to his irrational parents. His parents locked him in a closet 20 hours a day. Sweaty, cold, and vengeful, this is where he plotted his return. He knew the first step was to find some minions. So some minions he did find. Yvonnavich, being a brilliant strategist, started with the local orphanage. He recruited 500 new orphans, but these orphans needed to be trained. And they had to be trained in secrecy so he needed a cover. On August 2nd, 1987 Yvonnavich purchased a warehouse on the lower east side; this is where he would spend the next year training his orphans. Yvonnavich knew brainwashing would be beautifully easy on the young identity-confused children. 499 orphans were successfully brainwashed, although there was one that was able to resist. This one, Mark Zuckerburg, escaped out the back and began running as fast as he could. He jumped a fence, two walls, and crossed a highway into safety. So he thought... Yvonnavich used his mind powers to blow Zuckerburg (kinda a douchebag) into 3,762 flesh bits. Next yvonnavich went back to his 499 orphans and planned his world domination. He then moved on the the next step and opened a franchise of Mrs. Fields bakery. From here his sinister work began, selling cookies to children. With his mass income from his venture, Yvonnavich finally was able to get that sex change he wanted; today you may know him as Mrs. Fields.
Troy Melendez. What an odd name for a beet root. But then again, this was no ordinary beet root, as these things rarely are. Troy Melendez was the most delicious beet root ever unearthed in the magical garden at ASU. His fruity nectar was considered a delicacy in almost every country. What a sad day it was when ASU found out the species of Troy Melendez. But little did they know, when they buried Tory Melendez, they would change the world forever. For Troy was a root, and upon burial he would begin to grow again; but this time into the most sinister of things, a zombie beet root. Now this zombie beet root wasn't like the zombie beet roots that you see in the movies. Troy was much worse and despicable; he would continually talk about "aggressive marketing" while slowly deteriorating the minds of his unwilling disciples. He built up the mentality of his minions by focusing on their strengths- with the sole purpose of taking over the mind! And the world wept. Before the people knew it, Troy had become an evil dictator, making strict regulations about things like success planning and facial hair designs. He capitalized on the facial hair design that looked somewhat like clogs on either side of his face tied together with a shoe string mustache. Some said he was the anti-carrot prophesized in the early times. Rumors surrounded Troy's rise to power, what had started as a one beet operation had become and army of millions. Even the great "Rhubarb Khan" and his army of billions of veggie platters began to feel the negative effects of Troy's clogs. "We're begging to feel the negative effects of Troy's clogs!" Rhubarb Khan exclaimed. To battle this imminent threat, the other vegetables united and began to invest in weapons of mass destruction. And the world wept again as plans were made to use these weapons. Lawn mower stocks went through the roof. Prayers for drought and erosion in the land of the enemy began. Farmer Joe Laughed as he continued to tend to his garden, wondering what would happen if his harmless vegetables came to life. He walked to the edge of the garden and looked upon his once-prized beet, Troy Melendez, but it was rotten now. Throwing it in the trash, the farmer made his way back into the house, the sun set and the farmer slept, dreaming of vegetable epics.
Once upon a time, there was a small teacup named Brandon. Brandon really didn't like tea. He like coke. He used it to escape from his past. When Brandon was little he was touched by his father. (This shit just got real), when Brandon was 14 he got his first tattoo, and 6 months after that he walk into a Starbucks, that's when this story begins. When Brandon walked into the Starbucks, he was VERY upset when he realized that the line was long and that he would have to wait 20 minutes for his drink. "Bitch, please," Brandon moaned as he wearily glanced at the endless line. Suddenly the fire alarm started to sound. Now he'd never get his caramel macchiato! Making his way through an army of pantsuits he punched man, woman, and child in the ovaries. He was going to get his drink. Then Brandon leaped over the counter and turned to confront the barista. In a fit of unadulterated rage, Brandon grabbed a nearby brick and raised it over his head about to smash the barista's skull to a pulp when he realized who it was! "Grandma? What are you doing here?" he asked. "Brandon!" She grabbed him by the throat. Brandon's jaw dropped in shock at the sigh of his grandmother while he also grasped for breath amidst the smoky air and his grandmother's death-clutch. Suddenly, Brandon's grandma released her grip on his neck and scooped up Brandon in the most loving and warm embrace Brandon had ever received. But it was only a trick. Grandma was actually using a maneuver that she had learned in ninja training. Ninja training for teacups. Ya, mother-fuckin' teacups. Grandma began to slither on the floor while dragging Brandon in the hopes of reaching the emergency exit. Suddenly she stopped, turned to Brandon, reached down and tore his handle off his body and began to stab him with shards of his own handle until he became unresponsive. There was a loud crash as some guy wearing a cape and underwear on the outside bust through the window. Brandon checked his own glass to make sure he was okay. At this point the acid was wearing off, the drug-fueled afternoon had ended, and the writer put down his pencil--horrified by his own creation.
-The last few pages of this story were found written on back of religious pamphlets and other scraps of paper.
Brandon didn't like religion as his dad was a Catholic priest, his obvious negative sentiment was justified.
Seven: The number Yvonnavich could not conquer. This was due to his irrational fears. Which can be attributed to his irrational parents. His parents locked him in a closet 20 hours a day. Sweaty, cold, and vengeful, this is where he plotted his return. He knew the first step was to find some minions. So some minions he did find. Yvonnavich, being a brilliant strategist, started with the local orphanage. He recruited 500 new orphans, but these orphans needed to be trained. And they had to be trained in secrecy so he needed a cover. On August 2nd, 1987 Yvonnavich purchased a warehouse on the lower east side; this is where he would spend the next year training his orphans. Yvonnavich knew brainwashing would be beautifully easy on the young identity-confused children. 499 orphans were successfully brainwashed, although there was one that was able to resist. This one, Mark Zuckerburg, escaped out the back and began running as fast as he could. He jumped a fence, two walls, and crossed a highway into safety. So he thought... Yvonnavich used his mind powers to blow Zuckerburg (kinda a douchebag) into 3,762 flesh bits. Next yvonnavich went back to his 499 orphans and planned his world domination. He then moved on the the next step and opened a franchise of Mrs. Fields bakery. From here his sinister work began, selling cookies to children. With his mass income from his venture, Yvonnavich finally was able to get that sex change he wanted; today you may know him as Mrs. Fields.
Troy Melendez. What an odd name for a beet root. But then again, this was no ordinary beet root, as these things rarely are. Troy Melendez was the most delicious beet root ever unearthed in the magical garden at ASU. His fruity nectar was considered a delicacy in almost every country. What a sad day it was when ASU found out the species of Troy Melendez. But little did they know, when they buried Tory Melendez, they would change the world forever. For Troy was a root, and upon burial he would begin to grow again; but this time into the most sinister of things, a zombie beet root. Now this zombie beet root wasn't like the zombie beet roots that you see in the movies. Troy was much worse and despicable; he would continually talk about "aggressive marketing" while slowly deteriorating the minds of his unwilling disciples. He built up the mentality of his minions by focusing on their strengths- with the sole purpose of taking over the mind! And the world wept. Before the people knew it, Troy had become an evil dictator, making strict regulations about things like success planning and facial hair designs. He capitalized on the facial hair design that looked somewhat like clogs on either side of his face tied together with a shoe string mustache. Some said he was the anti-carrot prophesized in the early times. Rumors surrounded Troy's rise to power, what had started as a one beet operation had become and army of millions. Even the great "Rhubarb Khan" and his army of billions of veggie platters began to feel the negative effects of Troy's clogs. "We're begging to feel the negative effects of Troy's clogs!" Rhubarb Khan exclaimed. To battle this imminent threat, the other vegetables united and began to invest in weapons of mass destruction. And the world wept again as plans were made to use these weapons. Lawn mower stocks went through the roof. Prayers for drought and erosion in the land of the enemy began. Farmer Joe Laughed as he continued to tend to his garden, wondering what would happen if his harmless vegetables came to life. He walked to the edge of the garden and looked upon his once-prized beet, Troy Melendez, but it was rotten now. Throwing it in the trash, the farmer made his way back into the house, the sun set and the farmer slept, dreaming of vegetable epics.
Once upon a time, there was a small teacup named Brandon. Brandon really didn't like tea. He like coke. He used it to escape from his past. When Brandon was little he was touched by his father. (This shit just got real), when Brandon was 14 he got his first tattoo, and 6 months after that he walk into a Starbucks, that's when this story begins. When Brandon walked into the Starbucks, he was VERY upset when he realized that the line was long and that he would have to wait 20 minutes for his drink. "Bitch, please," Brandon moaned as he wearily glanced at the endless line. Suddenly the fire alarm started to sound. Now he'd never get his caramel macchiato! Making his way through an army of pantsuits he punched man, woman, and child in the ovaries. He was going to get his drink. Then Brandon leaped over the counter and turned to confront the barista. In a fit of unadulterated rage, Brandon grabbed a nearby brick and raised it over his head about to smash the barista's skull to a pulp when he realized who it was! "Grandma? What are you doing here?" he asked. "Brandon!" She grabbed him by the throat. Brandon's jaw dropped in shock at the sigh of his grandmother while he also grasped for breath amidst the smoky air and his grandmother's death-clutch. Suddenly, Brandon's grandma released her grip on his neck and scooped up Brandon in the most loving and warm embrace Brandon had ever received. But it was only a trick. Grandma was actually using a maneuver that she had learned in ninja training. Ninja training for teacups. Ya, mother-fuckin' teacups. Grandma began to slither on the floor while dragging Brandon in the hopes of reaching the emergency exit. Suddenly she stopped, turned to Brandon, reached down and tore his handle off his body and began to stab him with shards of his own handle until he became unresponsive. There was a loud crash as some guy wearing a cape and underwear on the outside bust through the window. Brandon checked his own glass to make sure he was okay. At this point the acid was wearing off, the drug-fueled afternoon had ended, and the writer put down his pencil--horrified by his own creation.
-The last few pages of this story were found written on back of religious pamphlets and other scraps of paper.
Brandon didn't like religion as his dad was a Catholic priest, his obvious negative sentiment was justified.
sometimes when the sun peeks over the horizon line an a gentle warmness washes over the morning landscape, you can catch a glimpse of "them." they are the outsiders - not accepted in our society. they are purple, eat egg juice for every eal, and have a strange fascination with desert plants. if they were smurfs, they'd be the smurfs with the prison shanks, the ones with death sentences for homicidal rage sprees.
this is the story of one of "them" who was daring enough to challenge the limits set upon him. one dark day an army of ninja grandmas began to shuffle their way towards the land of "them." however, they all had cardiac arrests and no AED was in sight (YAY OSHA TRAINING ;] ). one by one these veteran ninjas each experienced an impending sense of doom and began to topple over. then, one of "them" named Magic Johnson happened to be walking by with his newly purchased AED and thought that he could help. although the grandma ninjas were sworn enemies of "them," Magic Johnson felt a tugging in his cauliflower heart. Magic Johnson approached the first grandmother ninja when he noticd that she was wearing a wig! it turned out that it was actually an army of ninja grandpas with heavy chests! now what can he do?! even more hated than the ninja grandmas were the ninja cross-dressing grandpas and magic pulled out his glock and blew away each helpless, dying old man.
suddenly, a bright light shone from the heavens and Magic lifted his hands to shield his eyes. the ESPN announcer began to speak.
"And there you go folks, live from ESPNX, he became victoirious in the 2037 olympic battle!" agic began to jump up and down in victory while clicking his heels and then he eagerly ran up the podium to receive his mdeal. silly Magic. they stopped awarding olympic medals in 2018. drenched in shame, Magic unsheathed his katana of dishonor and prepared to perform the killing blow. ESPN quickly went on a commercial break while the Chinese military was called to deal with this international crisis.
"did you know that you can get a new couch for only $799 with no down payment or interest for 2 full months?" meanwhile, agic had no intentions to kill himself. the podium was closest to the Blagornian Duke and katana-at-hand, Magic leaped to the balcony. Magic utilized his samurai training to maneuver through all of the bodyguards until he was face-to-face with the duke. now, he could finally get the answer to his long sought after question. he asked sternly, "what is the meaning of life?" the blagornian duke spit in magic's face.
he then laughed like an evil genius, ripped off his face, and revealed himself to actually be inhye - codename godzirra. she then proceeded to attack Magic. Magic stood back in shock as he realized this was INHYE - his high school sweetheart. he then said, "are your feet tired? you've been running through my head all day." inhye was not impressed and sliced off Magic's feet in his enamored state. Magic began to burst into tears when he realized he would never fight ninja grandmas...or grandpas...teh same way again. instead, he would get a hook and be even more ass-kickingly awesome.
inhye was not impressed and sliced off magic's head in his excited state. BUT! - because he was one of "them" Magic was not killed so easily and he placed his head back in place - ready to face his enemy. nearly headless Magic Johnson was about to do a sweet roundhouse kick when his hook got caught on some lady's purse. drenched in shame, nearly-headless Magic prepared his katana of dishonor.
Monday, January 10, 2011
my hair is awesome
I cut my own hair again. I'd rather have a lion's mane than mermaid hair. It still needs some work, but considering the amount of half-hazard cutting I did, I am awesome.
Friday, December 10, 2010
And suddenly I have a life
Yesterday I had my hip hop final. I was super nervous and wasn't really happy with the dance, but when we got out there to perform, I had a blast. This is my crew. The two older women in the back are awesome. They are sisters who work at ASU and randomly take different classes each semester. The teacher calls the one on the left Mama J. They took video of our dance, so hopefully I can get a copy of it.
Then on Sunday Milica and I managed to weasel our way into a free trip to Arcosanti for the art and design students. Arcosanti is really cool. It's an experimental community. The plan is that it will hold 5,000 people, but it is currently less than 5% finished.
After the tour we were given free range to explore and chill, so Milica and I took advantage of the artistic inspiration.
Last Friday I went to the Campus Kiva concert. Not only did I get sucked into selling tickets, but I also ended up being one of the photographers. Bryan, the guy running the show, is the most persuasive person ever. The two guys here are on my staff this year. The one on the right is actually one of the first people I met when I came to college. The show was really entertaining. It was a little awkward when Milica and I couldn't find the correct room before the show started and accidentally walked in a sat down in a room entirely full of Indian men not speaking English. We ran out of there pretty quick.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
